The Cause of Homosexuality

"He isn’t really gay. He just never tried women. After all, he doesn’t dress or act gay.". These words were from my partner’s brother to his mother. You might think they were spoken twenty years ago, but they were actually spoken within the past few weeks. His mother actually gained some temporary hope that her son might be "normal" after all. The truth is that he is very much normal. He is simply not what those who are prejudiced against gays think he should be.

Mark’s brother wanted to blame him for not doing his manly duty to become attracted to women. Well, the same argument can be turned around and asked the opposite way. Did the heterosexual try out enough people of the same sex before deciding to be attracted to the opposite sex? I hope you agree that this argument is crazy. We never decide what kind of person we are attracted to. It just happens. I once asked my own brother, who is attracted to the opposite sex, what day he decided to be a heterosexual. He couldn’t answer, because it was a decision he never made. Just like gays, heterosexual and bisexual people don’t decide what kind of person they are attracted to. It simply happens.

Many times the first reaction of parents who learn that their child is gay is to blame themselves. They think they must have done something wrong. Maybe they shouldn’t have let him play with dolls, or let her play football. Interestingly, both my brother and I played with dolls and played football. One of us is attracted to men and one of us is attracted to women. There was very little difference in the way we were raised. We had both parents in the home all of our lives, and they were separated only when my father died. We didn’t have an ideal childhood, but our childhood is not what made one of us gay. We each have our own personality and always have. No one knows why some people are sexual minorities. Those who think they know are deceiving themselves and trying to deceive others.

One thing we do know is that some people have always been attracted to and fall in love with people of the same sex and gender. A good estimate based on differing statistics is that about 3-4% of the population is homosexual, while another 6% or 7% have commit homosexual acts for some period of their lives. In all honesty, everyone is on a broad spectrum and the percentages are low when it comes to people who would at no time and in no circumstance have sex with someone of the same gender. It could be that at any time up to ten percent are in an intimate sexual relationship with someone of the same physical sex.

Those who disagree with sexual minorities often blame the individual. For some reason some heterosexuals think that sexual minorities make the choice to be the way we are. The problem with this theory, besides it being untrue, is that they don’t give themselves the same criterion. They argue that being attracted to the opposite sex is normal and therefore no decision is necessary. To claim that a person decides to be "abnormal" is derogatory and inflammatory. Some people claim that homosexuality is genetic, others that it is caused by hormonal imbalances. One study claims that body characteristic, such as penis or breast size contributes to sexual orientation. Some believe it to be learned behavior. Other than hormonal causes, and the physical characteristics, these studies are totally inconclusive. Hormonal studies prove that increased hormones don’t change the attraction, but contributes to the intensity of the attraction. Penis and breast size has no correlation with sexual orientation. People with small and large penises and breasts are found among both sexual minorities and the majority. Regardless of the process, the fact is that sexual minorities are a normal part of society and express God’s diversity in the world.

Jesus recognized that not everyone is heterosexual and that not everyone is born that way. "For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it." (Matthew 19:12) In saying this Jesus would have known that eunuchs were often, among other things, male sexual slaves for men. This statement is recorded shortly after Jesus healed the young man who was likely the lover of a Roman Centurion, without making any statement to condemn their relationship, but boasted of the man’s faith in seeking Jesus.’ (Matthew 8) Paul condemned those who have sex while practicing idolatry that is not part of their normal attractions. (Romans 1:26-27)

I don’t know whether we will ever completely understand the process that makes some people attracted to one sex or another, just as we can’t explain so many other aspects of nature. One thing I do know, regardless of the process that makes some people sexual minorities, God creates nature as God determines. God makes us diverse and different, not for us to condemn and blame others in fear, but for us to appreciate and support others in love. Those who are different than the majority should thank God for making us individual and special, and trust God to strengthen us through the ignorance and prejudice of those who will try to blame queers for their own failures.

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Robert Buchanan is a minister of the Ecumenical Catholic Church and a psychotherapist who lives with his partner of many years in Durham North Carolina.  He is the author of  Love, Honor & Respect: How to Confront Homosexual Bias in Christian Culture and serves as director of the Institute for Inclusive Christianity. a training program for ministers and clergy who do not discriminate against gays, lesbians, bisexuals, or because of financial, familial or social status.  Additional resources for inclusive Christians can be found at our Resources page.

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Last modified: 07/09/05