A series of articles by Robert Buchanan, D.Min., on gay prejudice and
Christianity in order to challenge the church and help provide for the
spiritual needs of sexual minorities
Please bookmark this page and come back.
|
A series of articles by Robert Buchanan, D.Min., on gay prejudice and
Christianity in order to challenge the church and help provide for the
spiritual needs of sexual minorities
Please bookmark this page and come back.
|
|
|
The Secret
Rick knew that
he was different from a very young age. His interests were not the same as
other boys. He liked playing sports, but didn’t get as excited when he lost
because he wasn’t as competitive as his friends. By adolescence he was having
thoughts about doing things with other guys. His masturbation fantasies
weren’t about girls, but were about what he could do to please another guy.
He didn’t tell anyone his secret.
He heard all
the jokes and harsh words that others said about “faggots” and “queers.” He
came from a large family and his older siblings and father regularly put down
gays. One of his brothers was in a street gang that would beat people coming
out of gay bars. He was afraid. Rick thought that he would be rejected more
if they knew. He experimented and played with a couple of other guys
sexually, but always did it anonymously. He kept the secret.
While in high
school he became involved in church. He wanted acceptance so much that he
devoted himself to doing everything he could for the church. He was an
evangelical zealot. Soon he found out that the church was just as harsh
toward gays as his family. Rick decided that he must be sick or evil since
everyone seemed to agree that the kind of person he was on the inside was
somehow wrong. When they preached the cruel sermons and made vicious
comments, he never told anyone his secret.
Rick prayed not
to be gay. He fasted asking God to set him free from what he thought was
“sin.” He did all the right things. He read his Bible, went to church, gave
ten percent of his income, graduated seminary, became a minister, got married,
and had children. He went to counselors and programs to change. God never
answered the prayer to make him heterosexual. Instead, his inner longings
became stronger. While denying a part of his true nature, Rick’s
relationships and quality of life suffered. Things seemed to be crumbling to
the point that Rick attempted suicide a couple of times.
Then one day
the truth rang true in Rick’s heart. God did not intend for him to change.
Being gay was part of his true nature. God loved him and expected him to be
true to himself. After all, he had given God nearly 20 adult years to make
him straight, and instead he just longed to love and be loved by another man
all the more. With support of friends, and the rejection of his church, Rick
became who God wanted him to be all along – A man dedicated to truth inside
and out. The truth that reminds us that God’s love is for all, not just those
who have the same attractions as others and have sex the way the majority of
others do. God doesn’t expect or want us to keep the secret.
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Robert Buchanan is a minister of the Ecumenical Catholic Church and a psychotherapist who lives with his partner of many years in Durham North Carolina. He is the author of Love, Honor & Respect: How to Confront Homosexual Bias in Christian Culture and serves as director of the Institute for Inclusive Christianity. a training program for ministers and clergy who do not discriminate against gays, lesbians, bisexuals, or because of financial, familial or social status. Additional resources for inclusive Christians can be found at our Resources page.
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