A series of articles by Robert Buchanan, D.Min., on gay prejudice and Christianity in order to challenge the church and help provide for the spiritual needs of sexual minorities
Please bookmark this page and come back.

 Home Archives Contents Senate Contacts Search Institute Books,Music,Videos Christian Comments

My New Friend
 

A Body With Many Parts
Ascending To Equality
Can Gay's Be Safe?
The Cause of Homosexuality
"Chicken Little" Christians
Christians & Bigots
Christians Limit God
Christmas Equality
Decadent Double Standard
Does Size Count?
Eddie Hartman's Execution
Email to the President
Episcopal Convention
Gay Pedophilia
Gay Politicians?
The Gift of Sex
The Good Guys
Holy Homosexuals
Let Wisdom Prevail
Marriage is Threatened
Michael Peterson Murder Trial
Non-Celibate Gay Christians
Our National Treasure
Preachers, President and Pope
Same Sex Marriage
Strange Love
Virginia is Dangerous

My New Friend

 
    I met a new friend the other day at a party.   We talked and became acquainted for quite some time.  I thoroughly enjoyed meeting him because we seemed to have so much in common.  We are close in age, we both were married and have children, and we both came from a strict church background.  His struggle of coming out, divorce, and connecting with a genuine intimate relationship, sounded a great deal like my own, and so many others who came out later in life.
 
    It was so hard to live life in the closet.  Especially being in a strict religious setting and not allowing yourself to think that the reason you are attracted to the guy down the street is that you are gay.   Thinking,  “I can’t be gay. If I am gay, I can’t be a Christian.”  The conflict and stress when our idealistic religious ideas don’t match our inner self can cause more pain and suffering than anyone deserves.  Yet we continue in this cycle, and hundreds if not thousands of gays, lesbians, bisexual, and transgender Christians think these kinds of thoughts every single day.
 
    For me it was a nurse in a hospital that God used to wake me up to the fact that I am a Christian and I am Gay, and that is the way it is supposed to be.  I had already spent years studying the Bible and found that what people claimed the Bible said about being gay was simply not there.  Some modern translations make it sound otherwise, but the New Testament never deals with a loving mutual intimate relationship between two people of the same sex.   Jesus never said a single thing to condemn gays, though he mentioned quite a few problems in heterosexual relationships. Jesus didn’t hesitate to hug men, and to allow his cousin to lie on his breast during an emotional time during the Last Supper.  If gays are so dangerous, you would think Jesus would have said something.
 
    It took a long time for me to unlearn all the prejudice, bias, fear, and misunderstanding that is accepted as truth in most of the church and society.  Even then, I had to have my own emotional and spiritual catharsis to realize in my heart that I am indeed both Christian and gay.  It was such a wonderful day when I recognized that fact in my inner most being.  My friend I met the other day still has some struggles to work through, but I pray for him on his journey of acceptance and faith.  
 
    Most denominations have a long way to go before they get rid of the philosophy of prejudice against sexual minorities.  Regardless of how long it takes, let’s pray for change in the church, but, most of all, lets pray that gay people will not give up on Christianity, but find a place of true acceptance.  For when I found spiritual acceptance, I found out what a friend Jesus truly is.

 

Robert Buchanan is a minister of the Ecumenical Catholic Church and a psychotherapist who lives with his partner of many years in Durham North Carolina.  He is the author of  Love, Honor & Respect: How to Confront Homosexual Bias in Christian Culture and serves as director of the Institute for Inclusive Christianity. a training program for ministers and clergy who do not discriminate against gays, lesbians, bisexuals, or because of financial, familial or social status.  Additional resources for inclusive Christians can be found at our Resources page.

Your gift using Pay Pal's secure site can help this web site operate and help educate others on these important issues:

Inclusive Christian Resources:

Institute for Inclusive Christianity

Send mail to mark@inclusivechristians.org with questions or comments about this web site.
Copyright © 2003 Different Spirit
Last modified: 07/09/05

Hit Counter