The Mystery of Marriage

Recognizing same sex unions is a hot topic these days. Advances in recent years have meant that a couple of major Christian religions and one Jewish group now practice unions between people of the same sex. The Evangelical Lutheran Church just announced a study of the issue for the fifth largest denomination in the United States. Nations are starting to grant legal recognition to same sex couples, in spite of continued criticism from fundamentalists and the Roman Catholic Church. A coalition of Christian groups are trying to promote a constitutional amendment to declare same-sex unions illegal in the U.S. in spite of the success of Vermont civil unions.

Same sex union is a politically powerful concept that would mean acceptance and equality for millions of gay and lesbian couples. Legal recognition of gay love would be a major step in overcoming the fear and prejudice that motivates so many to intolerance and hatred. It is indeed time for prejudice to be put aside and the right to join in union extended to all. Yet, union is far more than simply a political tool or maneuver, it is a spiritual mystery.

Debate arose at the triennial convention of the Evangelical Anglican Church this year. This inclusive Christian denomination practices Holy Unions, and has from its inception. However, the idea came up that even the term "Holy Union" promotes a kind of internalized homophobia. The argument was made that same sex unions should not be called anything different than opposite sex unions. If the Sacrament or mystery, of Holy Matrimony is extended to some people, it must be extended to all. The discussion concluded with a sense that we should be doing marriages not holy unions, so that everyone knows that God is not discriminating against gays and causing sexual minorities to be second class believers. True equality means the same Sacrament for heterosexuals and homosexuals.

This theological idea of same sex marriage gives added meaning to the political fight. Jesus encouraged marriage as a commitment of love between two people. Apostle Paul shared that this commitment meant total devotion to another, as a type of our total devotion to God. It is a mystical and spiritual bond that means so much more than a political statement or civil right. It is the essence of our spiritual being to share ourselves with another. Civil unions are a step in the right direction, but the practice of loving one another in total devotion is where the real joy and meaning is found.

Robert Buchanan is a minister of the Ecumenical Catholic Church and a psychotherapist who lives with his partner of many years in Durham North Carolina.  He is the author of  Love, Honor & Respect: How to Confront Homosexual Bias in Christian Culture and serves as director of the Institute for Inclusive Christianity. a training program for ministers and clergy who do not discriminate against gays, lesbians, bisexuals, or because of financial, familial or social status.  Additional resources for inclusive Christians can be found at our Resources page.

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Last modified: 07/09/05