I Don’t Want to be Tolerated

"The Episcopal Church Welcomes You." At least that’s the message on thousands of road signs that have become almost a mainstay of American culture. For many GLBT Christians the Episcopal Church does indeed seem to be the best alternative. The Church has voted to apologize for its treatment of sexual minorities in the past, and has an official non-discrimination policy when it comes to treatment of gays and lesbians in the church.

These victories were hard-fought and are worthy of acclamation. However, the question of full-acceptance of sexual minorities is still a long way from reality in the denomination as a whole. The majority of diocese will not allow all of the sacraments to be administered to gays and lesbians. Holy Orders are often denied unless one is willing to abstain from sexual relations or at least keep it a secret. (Back to the closet again.) Marriage is denied to same-sex couples, so we are denied this sacrament as well.

The Episcopal Church has a chance to make some strides toward equality this summer. The triennial convention July 30 through August 8, 2003 will be looking at several resolutions of importance to sexual minorities. The Bishop-elect of New Hampshire, V. Gene Robinson, will have to be ratified by the convention. If so, he will be the first openly gay Bishop in the Episcopal Church and probably the Anglican Communion. Robinson has been in a committed relationship for 13 years. Bishops across the country have come out both to support and condemn this bold step.

Another resolution involves including a blessing of same-sex unions in one of the liturgical books of the church. This will not be equal to marriage but many gay Episcopalians see it as a step in the direction of equality. A similar resolution failed 3 years ago.

A resolution that has not received much attention but will also be presented is one from the Diocese of Newark which places the church on record as against so-called Reparative or Conversion therapy. This kind of therapy has been condemned by all of the professional mental health associations because it presents homosexuality as an illness or sinful, and attempts to brainwash gays to change their sexual orientation.

Are gays and lesbians truly welcome in the Episcopal Church? In all honesty, it depends on where you are, who your minister is, and on the opinion of your Bishop. Some will fit in easily with a great deal of tolerance; others will find open hostility depending on the diocese or church. I for one am tired of being tolerated. I’m looking for outright acceptance and equality. I long for the day when all of the communions of Christianity will be able to find room for everyone without prejudice and condemnation. I often wonder why churches find themselves condemning others when Jesus clearly explained that He did not come to condemn. We have lost a lot of prejudice in the church hopefully prejudice against sexual minorities will one day be a distant memory instead of a present reality.

Robert Buchanan is a minister of the Ecumenical Catholic Church and a psychotherapist who lives with his partner of many years in Durham North Carolina.  He is the author of  Love, Honor & Respect: How to Confront Homosexual Bias in Christian Culture and serves as director of the Institute for Inclusive Christianity. a training program for ministers and clergy who do not discriminate against gays, lesbians, bisexuals, or because of financial, familial or social status.  Additional resources for inclusive Christians can be found at our Resources page.

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Last modified: 07/09/05