The Gift of Sex

I have given and received a lot of gifts in my lifetime. Sometimes giving gifts is a great joy and easy. This is when I know the person well and can find just the right thing that will make a contribution to her or his life. Other times giving gifts is a struggle and much more work. These are the times when maybe I don’t know the person as well, or maybe they already seem to have everything I might be able to give. Regardless, giving gifts is a wonderful and powerful way that we express ourselves to one another.

I believe that one of the greatest gifts is the gift of sex. I think sex makes a unique and special contribution to our lives. Part of the reason I think sex is a special gift is because of who the gift comes from. First of all, God has given humanity the gift of sex. The Creator made us to physically bring pleasure to one another.

There have been times when some in the Church have missed this point and thought that sex was evil, or at best simply a way of reproduction. They missed the point. The creation stories of Scripture indicate that God was far more interested in companionship and pleasure than the ability to reproduce. God sought a companion for the first human and worked until that companionship was satisfactory. The creation story doesn’t mention reproduction until much later when the first couple left the Garden of Eden.

Now, I’m not a biologist, but I know that God has other options regarding reproduction. Asexual reproduction can be found in nature. This is reproduction where no partner is needed. It is more common than we may realize. For example, whiptail lizards reproduce without a partner. Their bodies divide in half. One half grows a new head and the other half grows a new tail. Thus one becomes two.

Since other possible options exist regarding reproduction; the Creator must have had other things in mind when humanity was created with sexuality. I’m convinced that’s because God wants us to have fun. Christians who think pleasure is a bad thing are simply fooling themselves. Pleasure is a very good thing. The Apostle Paul wrote to young timothy, "For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving." (I Timothy 4:4) Thank God for the gift of sex.

Sex is not only a gift from God however. It is a gift from the partner who is sharing him or her self with us. Sex is best when we receive it as a free gift from a partner who wants to contribute pleasure to our lives while we at the same time give ourselves to the other in a way that is a gift of pleasure to our partner. There is nothing that prevents us from pleasuring ourselves, but when we give ourselves to one another for mutual pleasure, sex is a genuine gift of the highest caliber. Vulnerability, intimacy, and down right fun combine as an offering of both parties to the fulfillment of the other. That’s why Paul wrote that our bodies do not belong just to us, but also to our partner, (I Corinthians 7:4)

There was a time in my life when, if I could, I would have preferred to be heterosexual. Needless to say that was because of the social pressures and stigma that were attached to being gay. Now that I have found some maturity and a genuinely loving partner, I could not be paid enough to even want to be hetero. God makes us diverse and unique creatures. The Creator gives us many wonderful gifts, including the gift of two homosexual lovers sacrificially giving themselves for mutual pleasure and love. Maybe if more heterosexual Christians found what the gift is sex is all about, they would be enjoying God’s gift so much that they wouldn’t have time to worry about those of us God made differently. In the mean time, I’ll keep receiving God’s gift with thanksgiving because it is a very good thing.