Strange Love

Love can be an amazing thing. It is one word, but has so many different meanings. We are expected to understand the definition from the context. One might say they love chocolate, or a new car, or their shoes. At the same time, we might also say we love our friends, family and spouse. All the different kinds of love can be a challenge to interpret for some people on the religious right. They think that giving equality to GLBT people will lead to people being able to have all kinds of strange love. The same word is used for everything from eroticism to affection and kindness, to total devotion and commitment. We are wise to make sure we know which kind of love someone is talking about when they say, "I love you."

In March, Equality NC and the Human Rights Campaign and Lambda Legal conducted a town hall style panel discussion on same-sex families in Raleigh North Carolina. The same night the Chapel Hill City Council held hearings to discuss asking the state to repeal its Defense of Marriage law which defines marriage as between a man and a woman and does not recognize same sex marriages from other places.

There was an organized attempt by some extremist Christian men to stop the educational meeting. I believe the men that reportedly came from Upper Room Church of God in Christ had the two meetings confused, and thought they were at a formal hearing on the issue by the City, rather than an educational meeting conducted by advocates of same sex marriage. They simply would not hear any answer they didn’t agree with and would begin shouting and moving forward.  I was on the front row and it was frightening.

One shout that came from the dissenters was that this would lead to child abuse. When Rev, Wanda Floyd explained that Jesus didn’t say anything about the issue, the men shouted that Jesus didn’t say anything about abusing children either. On the contrary Jesus did indeed say it is better to have a stone tied around ones neck and thrown into the sea than to offend a child. (Matthew 18:6)

When Jo Wyrick of the HRC explained that two adults in love should be able to decide whom to marry, the men called out several times "I love my dog too." How sad and fearful it is that this group of Christians doesn’t know the difference between love for a dog, love for a child and love for one’s spouse. They think queers are confused about love!

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Robert Buchanan is a minister of the Ecumenical Catholic Church and a psychotherapist who lives with his partner of many years in Durham North Carolina.  He is the author of  Love, Honor & Respect: How to Confront Homosexual Bias in Christian Culture and serves as director of the Institute for Inclusive Christianity. a training program for ministers and clergy who do not discriminate against gays, lesbians, bisexuals, or because of financial, familial or social status.  Additional resources for inclusive Christians can be found at our Resources page.

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Last modified: 07/09/05