Ascending Toward Equality

The same week that Christianity celebrated the ascension of Jesus into the clouds after the resurrection, our culture may have ascended one step closer to equality. It was a small step in only one state, but the Commonwealth of Massachusetts began issuing and conducting legal marriages of same-sex couples. It was a noted victory for sexual minorities, however, unlike the war in Iraq, the battle for total equality has a long way to go before the social war for equality can be proclaimed victorious.

I wasn’t surprised to find that most of organized Christianity stood opposed to this ascension. Even the Episcopal Church, which presents itself as the most progressive on queer issues, would not allow the weddings of same-sex couples to be given full and equal status. In spite of the fact that the Diocese of Massachusetts had been a relatively strong supporter of the legalization of marriage equality, the Bishops voted to not allow their ministers to conduct the marriages. It appears queers are welcome to come and participate in the Episcopal Church, give our money, sometimes have our unions blessed, and even reach some level of leadership, but we cannot be considered equal to heterosexuals when it comes to marriage.

Marriage is a strange mix of church and state. For the first few hundred years of Christianity, marriage was totally in the domain of the state. The church had no official ritual and took no position regarding the marriages recognized by the state. Usually marriage was simply a matter of common law. If two people lived together as spouses and said they were married, the community accepted their relationship. With the demise of the Roman Empire, the only organization that spread beyond the small states of Europe was the church. Therefore, the church took on the role of performing and sanctioning marriage. Even Augustine, when he was trying to defend his lovers from the charge of adultery proclaimed the "sacramental" nature of marriage without any ritual attached to the union at all.

Eventually the church and state both took responsibility for marriage. The state passed laws about who may or may not be married in the eyes of the state, and the church passed canon laws about who would be considered married in the eyes of the church. The vast majority of marriages are recognized by both. The state licensed the marriages and the church solemnized the unions. The state does not compel any church to perform marriages and couples have the option of civil ceremonies if they choose. The church came to see marriage as a sacrament that required the participation of a priest and specific prayers and oaths in order for the couple to be united in Holy Matrimony. The roots of the Episcopal Church come from a split with Rome over whether the King of England could get remarried. The pope had allowed many kings to get remarried in the past, but the Roman church was punishing the king.

In all honesty, I agree with Augustine. I do not need a ritual of the church in order for my union to be sacramental. Even the Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, has admitted in his book The Ray of Darkness that some same-sex couples may have relationships that are more sacramental than some heterosexual couples. Something is sacramental when it gives grace through mercy, righteousness, and hope as we model our lives after the example of Jesus. Same-sex couples do not need the church to proclaim their marriages sacramental. The love and devotions the couples express to one another will serve to prove the nature of their relationship just fine.

With this in mind, however, I believe the church needs to recognize the sacramental nature of same-sex marriage by encouraging its ministers to perform the unions. The corporate groups of people who call themselves Christian are expected to reflect God’s principles to the world. Included in those principles are love and acceptance of all. Even the conservative Apostle Paul said that there is neither male nor female in Christ Jesus. There is no room for sexism or heterosexism within the true church. It belittles and brings shame on the love of Jesus for the church to deny the equality of all people and the image of God in everyone. When any church replaces the love of God with canon laws made by human beings, their hypocrisy and injustice becomes evident. " If anyone says ‘I love God’ yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen." (I John 4:20)

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Robert Buchanan is a minister of the Ecumenical Catholic Church and a psychotherapist who lives with his partner of many years in Durham North Carolina.  He is the author of  Love, Honor & Respect: How to Confront Homosexual Bias in Christian Culture and serves as director of the Institute for Inclusive Christianity. a training program for ministers and clergy who do not discriminate against gays, lesbians, bisexuals, or because of financial, familial or social status.  Additional resources for inclusive Christians can be found at our Resources page.

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Last modified: 07/09/05